Don't Believe Everything You Think

A client once said.

"If people could see my thoughts they would hate me.."

He wasn't worried about what he might do.

He was worried about what the thoughts meant about him.

That's the trap.

Most people assume disturbing thoughts must reveal something disturbing about their character.

It doesn't.

Almost everyone experiences intrusive thoughts. They can be violent, sexual, blasphemous, or just plain bizarre. They tend to show up uninvited and disappear just as quickly.

The problem usually isn't the thought.

It's what happens next.

"Why would I think that?"

"Does this mean I'm secretly dangerous?"

"What if I lose control?"

One of the things I tell clients is this:

We are not the one thinking the thoughts. We are the one listening to the thoughts.

Your brain generates thousands of thoughts every day. Some are helpful. Some are random. Some are ridiculous. Some are frightening.

The fact that your brain produced a thought doesn't mean you have to believe it.

From a trauma perspective, this makes sense.

If you've lived through trauma, chronic stress, or unpredictable relationships, your nervous system may have learned that staying alert was the safest way to survive. Your brain became exceptionally good at imagining worst-case scenarios because, at one point, expecting danger may have actually protected you.

From a systems perspective, I'm also curious about what you learned growing up.

Learning that a thought is not a prediction.

Not a confession.

Not a character reference.

Just a thought.

Because when you stop believing everything you think, your mind becomes a much quieter place to live.