The Story Changes. The Pattern Doesn't.

One week you're arguing about money.

The next week it's about sex.

Then it's whose turn it is to pick up the kids, call your parents, plan the vacation, or empty the dishwasher.

The story keeps changing.

But if you slow the conversation down, you'll often discover that the pattern never does.

One partner reaches for connection while the other pulls away.

One criticizes. The other becomes defensive.

One shuts down. The other pushes harder.

The details are different.

The dance is the same.

In therapy we slow down the music and change the dance steps. .

We're usually less interested in what started this week's argument than we are in the recurring cycle that keeps bringing the two of you back to the same place.