When intrusive thoughts don’t mean you are broken

A client once shared, “If anyone knew the thoughts that go through my head, they’d think I’m dangerous or crazy.” He wasn’t. He was terrified.

He had started experiencing vivid, unwanted thoughts during a high-stress period. They included flashes of violence toward people he loved, disturbing sexual images, and unsettling mental scenarios that seemed to come out of nowhere. These thoughts weren’t desires. They were intrusive, and they left him feeling ashamed and afraid of himself.

In Internal Family Systems, we understand these experiences through the lens of parts. Intrusive thoughts often come from exiled parts of us that carry unprocessed trauma, fear, or beliefs formed in painful moments. These parts don’t want to hurt us or anyone else. More often, they’re trying to protect us from danger, even if the strategy seems confusing or extreme.

Rather than fighting the thoughts or pushing them away, we slow down and listen. What is this part afraid of? What is it trying to protect? What does it believe it needs to do to keep you safe?

As my client began to get to know these parts of himself, the thoughts lost their intensity. One part held panic from childhood. Another carried beliefs shaped by emotional abuse. Neither was dangerous. They were scared and doing their best to help him survive.

Intrusive thoughts can feel overwhelming, but they don’t make you broken or bad. They’re signs of a nervous system under strain, and with the right support, they can become doorways to healing.

You are not your thoughts. You’re more than the parts that show up in distress. And you’re not alone in this work.